I don’t know what to do… I guess since this an accepting community that I’m part of I’ll whine and cry here 😭 if u don’t even read this whole thing I just need to talk to someone understanding. please

[vent warning‼️]

I am NOT good 😭 please help me in any support or anything I’m imploding more every day. I’m scared I’m really alone and feeling abandoned as I have for the past year . Life has been BAD for at least the past 2 years (more like 6, and I’m 22). If u look at my other post, of me being in a major car wreck involving a cliff where bone shrapnel nearly severed my lower spinal cord and fractured my L4-L5 lumbar spine, post showing the xray. (Lower seatbelt extreme whiplash will basically break you in half when it locks up if the impact is that strong). But yea that made me incontinent at 20. Loss of bladder control ever since and had to rely on diapers. Often don’t even know I have to pee until I’m already going, pff

That’s not even the thing I’m even upset about tho, but it probably contributed to my ptsd. Diapers are comfy. I got pried out of that 40ft ravine, basically alive, damn near out of blood out of my radial artery, and have chronic pain in my back to this day, but whatever. All that’s nothing compared to mental pain. I feel completely and entirely worthless and ashamed, of no value or priority to any single person and consider myself worth nothing more than a messy diaper. I’ve disliked myself for a minute. I haven’t talked to girls either, since after the barbed wire looped around my heart got twisted and yanked by some chick, and with my past trauma and untreatable depression I just can’t bring myself to want to. I have basically no friends also for that reason, even tho I have a car, nobody wants to hang out or check in to even ask how I’m doing. Years have gone by without that. I’ma little convinced I don’t matter to anyone irl. 0.00.

I’ve been thru things that haunt me everyday, that car wreck is nothing. I’d volunteer that again if I never had to endure any mental distress again. People just like “eeuuuhh” not normal. Stay away from him. I’m a love virgin 100%, but just super depressed and shut out. Maybe something to do with cavemen and the ones that appeared weak and vulnerable were less likely to survive or make successful offspring. Natural selection shoulda got me fr 🤷‍♂️ Don’t know, but I ain’t never been nobody’s no one

Diapers are the only comfort in the world I have left. I need help man, please don’t drop all comments like see a professional I’ve tried that or about how I’m a self pity loathing dummy that can’t just handle his business. I’ve crossed a line in my life much too far it’s hard to care at this point. It hurts a lot. I’m dying inside. I can’t do this. And I haven’t ever been loved, nor do I love myself. My insignificance and pettiness matters to no one except me and that’s fine. I just want company or advice or ANYTHING. I just feel like Im getting what I deserve for being a horrible human being. Prescribed benzos or I’ll literally fall apart into a billion pieces

Thanks for reading my RANT! I REALLY JUST NEED A HUG… but no one around for that either. Hugs are too expensive to most for me , and nobody could afford me when I tried giving myself out for free. I’d probably rate myself a 2 but others might say an 8 (not including knowledge of diapersss), but my personality is a -10 tbh. I cannot handle myself sometimes and have no one to lean on at ALL, my mental distress has been in the extremes since I was 16. I was tainted by drugs at age 12 with a false diagnosis and given substances I instantly became addicted to. As a real child. That painted my future

Thanks, bye bye 👋

TLDR; sucks to suck