So I am 30 years old male from PA USA and I have an Abdl side (a little space) my story is kind of hard to follow but if you bear with me maybe it’ll make sense.

when I was 13 I discovered Abdl in an internet deep dive looking for adult content. It was a video, a slide show of crudely photoshopped pictures of celebrity women in diapers. Something about it fascinated me. But I left it alone for a while after that. There were some minor Abdl exploration with KIK and MEETME, but nothing ever serious. Then sadly my mom got sick (cancers a bitch) and diapers were suddenly in our house. One night something in me just snapped and I took one and tried it. Being a 19 year old in diapers was amazing. The feeling was nice and I found they were great for self pleasure. After she passed away i dove deeper into the diaper rabbit hole. Using whatever stock pile the house had left over and even buying goodnite training pants. Eventually I went seeking people like me in trying to understand this and the interactions weren’t the best. Mostly gay or bisexual men looking to get off to other guys in diapers. But it was educational learning about subs doms bigs and littles. And the difference between AB and DL. For the longest time I thought I was just a DL and along with sorting out what I liked and didn’t like I also had some sexuality based questions. A lot of the people in Abdl i met kind of convinced me if I was a guy who liked diapered I should aim to be with guys who like diapers because girls who like diapers didn’t want a boy in diapers they wanted a daddy. Eventually I started dating and I put the urges of diapers away but I noticed after every breakup I would want diapers. So eventually I just had them in my closet waiting for the inevitable. By 22 I met my first long term gf and we dated for 3 years I did tell her about the diapers and she was disgusted. She thought it was sick and gross and made me stop. By 25/26 that relationship ended and diapers were back in play. But something was different I found I gravitated towards being babied and being an adult baby. I eventually met my now wife and she knows all about it. She doesn’t seek to be apart of the little space but she accepts it as a tool I use to deal with stress and anxiety. Part of me wants to explore my little space more but another part of me wants to just deny it all again… I guess what I’m asking if there’s anyone who’s into Abdl and not looking to sexualize it please commment and let’s connect