I increasingly feel like I need to be padded and little-ish all the time, aside from at work and in public. I just think it would make me happier.

But when I get little, it feels like a black hole, destroying everything in its wake, aka any chance of a routine.

But denying myself this is making me really unhappy. I’m conflicted because I can easily see me being little 24/7 but where I’d like my career to go and some of my other interests are competing for space.

I see people happy with their little side, waking up everyday soggy in cribs etc. I want a similar sense of continuity, consistency, security but I feel it would mean sacrificing some things.

My body can switch to little mode very easily, but then my stomach and body is doing backflips the next day, because I’ve been peeing little and often, putting off messing and drinking a few bottles of milk.

I don’t know how to reconcile myself!