I am the last person you might expect to open up about being an ABDL. This is a very personal part of my life that I would prefer to stay between my intimate partners and myself. No one else.

Unfortunately, being an ABDL is something that’s been a part of my life since before I was mature enough to keep it a secret. I’ve been outted before, numerous times. My entire family is aware of my diaper usage and my fascination with infantile behaviors. When I was too young to know any better, I begged my parents to diaper me and treat me like a baby. I clung to my baby stuff, and protested growing up. After I developed a sense of shame, I snuck diapers, pull-ups, and paraphernalia and tried to keep them a secret. I was caught frequently, and shamed by my mother. That was traumatic and regrettable.

I lived with my best friend for a while, and I did a sloppy job of keeping diapers and baby-things a secret yet again. He never confronted me, but I’m not surprised that he was aware. I’d wear diapers under my regular clothes often. Around every corner in my bedroom was a package of Megamaxes, onesies, footed pajamas, binkies, bottles, and I tried to pretend my Blankie was just another throw that I preferred over the rest.

I didn’t know that my best friend was aware of my baby nature until a mutual friend called me out for following an ABDL account on my vanilla instagram. Again… I was sloppy… that mutual called me out, with screenshots attached, in a group chat. Before I could react, my best friend stepped in to defend me. That’s when I became aware that my best friend knew my secret.

Since then, that mutual (the one who originally shamed me), my best friend, and I have had several candid conversations about me being an ABDL, the community, and how deep of a part of my personality this is. They’ve both turned into passive supporters of my way of life. They don’t want to be involved, but they don’t judge me. We’re good friends all the way around. And that’s wonderful! Both of them have partners, who hang out with us, and their partners have been made aware of me being an ABDL, and they aren’t judgmental either.

We don’t talk about diapers or baby things often. It comes up rarely and it’s always a little awkward, but I’m comfortable knowing it won’t ever hurt our friendship.

I’ve recently started wearing diapers more often. I was diagnosed with OAB, which isn’t a big deal, but diapers keep me from running to the bathroom every 30 minutes. There’s other methods of treatment, but I decided diapers are the best option for me. My doctor is supportive, and there’s another post in my history about it. The only issue is that I don’t really enjoy going out as much any more. I’m self conscious. I feel shy and on edge.

Yesterday, I got brunch with my friends. I didn’t want to stay out for more than a couple hours because of my diapers. At the end of the meal, I tried to go home, but my friends encouraged me to come with them to the zoo. I was hesitant, until they told me directly that my “underwear isn’t an issue” for them. They just wanted me to spend time with me. It was tough to hear, because of how vulnerable I ended up feeling. But it worked and the five of us enjoyed a warm day together at the zoo. I was self conscious, but so happy at the same time.

After the zoo, they wanted to keep the party going. I was invited to one of their houses for dinner, and cards. I was soaked, and I needed to go home. They didn’t quite get it. After a long, tense, conversation, I ended up flat out telling them I needed to “change myself.” They laughed and assured me that was fine, but after I took care of myself, I was to join them at the house for dinner and cards. No excuses. So that’s what we did.

My point is that there’s good people out here. Maybe one day this will be more open and accepted. My friends are angels. I’m really just bragging about them.

Can anyone relate? I’d love some stories about supportive non-ABDLs.