Hello there, I’m in a rough spot and I really need to let out some frustration. Right now I currently live in Colorado, I moved here from rural Alabama to start transitioning and to try and meet some people in the abdl community. When I lived in Alabama I tried desperately to find a partner to play with but there weren’t any abdls anywhere close to me. I tried for years to talk to people and try and make something happen but nothing ever came through. When I lived in Alabama my living situation allowed for more privacy and I was able to (for the most part) play to my hearts content and wear as often as I liked. My thought was if I moved to a larger area I would be able to meet more abdls and maybe have a better chance at finding a partner to experiment with. Well the move hasn’t exactly gone to plan, the area I live in is relatively close to Denver but not close enough that I’m able to make it to events. I tried reaching out to the community and I ended up meeting someone who said they were willing to help me get to the events. I have been trying to reach out to them after but they don’t seem as interested to help me out as they said, no responses and it feels like I did something wrong. I keep watching these fun events pass by each day and it makes me want to cry. My new living situation doesn’t allow me to wear very often and I just feel so demoralized about the whole situation. Despite all this effort it took me to move my life across the country im still just as sad and lonely as I was in Alabama. I want to find a way to meet someone but all of the abdls are in Denver and the logistics of meeting any of them are too much. I’ve been trying so hard to find someone for 5 years and I have nothing to show for it. I’m starting to hate myself for enjoying something that feels like it’s impossible to actually find. And even as I say that I know that’s not true, I see so many posts about people in their happy abdl relationships and it sends me into a spiral. I just want to enjoy abdl instead of being this fantasy that only exists in my head. I hope one day I’ll be the one posting with my partner but I feel like the hope is just going to continue to kill me. Idk what the point of trying is any more, thanks for reading my painful thoughts.