I'm a pretty hopeless romantic. I'm pretty terrible at talking ( hell I used to be a mute and still do in Situations ) but I really want to find someone.

I find it really hard to define what I want. I hold my partners to the same levels of self care and acceptance as I show. I also need a lot of love. I look for someone not just on looks but there personality surrounding them

But there is 2 parts that drives me crazy

One How to go out and socialize without think will they accept me entirely and im not just talking about what i wear for underwear I was hoping some abdls who found someone can give advice

Second I love the feeling of being padded in my own submissive little (horny world) but the min I bring someone home. I switch to being a protector who wants to take care of them and help them through their problems. And I can't find balance between what I want because I wanna be strong and someone they will look at as a reliable part of them, then I start to hate the little in me who just wants to be cuddle and be submissive. Its also good to metion that balancing the 2 gets me messed up in what gets more horny and i end up finishing to anything and I don't feel satisfied or content with wanting more