I dream of growing old while my baby continues to stays her cute toddler and baby self. I dream of holding her in my arms as I bottle feed her at night becoming a cherished ritual, followed by me brushing our teeth and carrying her to bed where I read to her and we fall asleep in each other’s arms. Day after day, night after night I will change her diaper, bathe her, dress her, play games with her, color with her, be silly with her, make love to her, care for her.

Her smiles and “dank you”s for the new toys and craft supplies keep me going to work even as she begs me to stay and play. “No, sweetie, daddy has to go to work so you can have cute diapers to wear.” I kiss her goodbye as she pouts not looking at me. I wave at my pouting princess and lock the scaries outside. My phone buzzes with 100 kiss emojis from my baby girl.