trigger warning: This a vent that is going to be at least a tinge bit related to politics. I expect serious answers. So, if you get easily offended to that stuff, then please scroll pass this post. Thanks.

So, I have an older brother who is pretty liberal. Any mainstream political topic, he leans more to the liberal side. Like drag queens performing at schools for example. He agrees on them having the freedom to do that.

When I moved into the apartment with him that I currently live in right now, I told him not to go through or ask about the boxes I have in my car and he suddenly says something like "is it because you have diapers in those boxes?" and i was all like holy shit how did you know? He responded saying "I don't care i have bigger things to deal with right now than your diapers". He's also told me that had some "weird" kinks but got rid of them through therapy. I was relieved and not really surprised cause like I said, he's pretty fuckin liberal and he didn't seem to care much about my diapers. And a while after he goes and tells me he wants to have a conversation with me and about it. I was pretty worked up about it and my brother didn't actually say anything about my diapers that day.

And then I wanna say it was last April, my brother decides to go and criticize me about somethings like my diet? Cant even remember what it was but i think part of it had to do with my diet lol. I decided to ignore him and eventually I went to grab earbuds and shut him down with some music. When I was chilling in my bedroom, my brother sent me a text telling me that he's going to shut me down until I get some therapy for my sensitivity and my diapers(this is pretty much where things got very real). This kinda pissed me off cause apparently my brother's idea here is to take something away (my relationship with him) in order to give me some sort of motivation to make myself less sensitive and to stop using diapers. Well, it'd didn't go the way he wanted. Instead I took hostage of his secret that he's been fucking and dating someone who is already married and sent him a screenshot of my draft message to my parents. He called my bluff and i did it. Shit got super fucking chaotic and we had a very heated argument about this at like fucking 3 in the morning. Eventually things calmed down, my brother apologizes, I managed to convince my parents that I lied to get back at him for something and everything went back normal and I was left believing he has developed a tolerance to me using diapers. Or at least I thought he did. After my bullshit argument, my brother breaks up with the girl(probably just out of a guilty fear over what i did because he's a fucking piece of shit).

A little bit earlier, about a month ago. I'm helping my brother make a salad that was supposed to go with dinner at my parent's house. My brother gets into another one of those fights with me(not about my diet). I have learned a bit more calmness and I stayed longer with him and once it felt like too much, I ignore him while helping. Once things calmed down, I criticized him on his style of criticism in the best manner I could and... he gets upset with me and starts needling at me about my "self esteem" and compared himself to me all while yes, he combos it by attacking my usage of diapers which is so goddamn cheap. I then yelled at him saying "are you really still on about my diapers?!" And he goes "oh, is that a pressure point ? Are you feeling guilty about your diapers?" And that's where I dropped what I was doing and headed to my room for a while and then went to my parents to vent about him. I didn't mention much about my diapers but it's like things get so out of hand with me and my brother that it's like, how can I not bring it up. The conversation actually went well but they didn't want to talk about my diapers which is fine and understandable. But my parents gave me advice and were pretty cool with me.

Because of this even, after this being 4 to 5 weeks ago, I'm still shocked and upset with him. How can he call himself a liberal? I cant even believe that he honestly believes in what he says about the LGBT community anymore. That dude is a fucking fake and I hope he actually learns some real tolerance one day cause yes, tolerance for the LGBT community is good. My parents aren't nearly as liberal and yet they were at least able to stay quiet about it like they should. Yes, I'm sensitive, I have a low self esteem, and have even quite a bit of anxiety however, I've been using actual methods to help improve myself and I continue to do so. I'm quite excited by my improvements and I acknowledge that my learning journey will take last forever. As of now, I just want to separate myself from him once the lease is finally over because of the toxic bullshit he's given me. It feels like an impractical thing to do since he's family and I'll have to be around him for things like holidays. I will of coarse never quit wearing diapers unless I cant afford them or something like that.