A few weeks ago I was released from a somewhat abusive 3 year long relationship I was extremely unhappy in. My ex ended up leaving me instead of me leaving him because I needed him financially. I am struggling with bills now but I feel so free. I immediately made a fetlife profile looking for connections with people in the community because my ex always made me feel like I couldn't do that as long as he was involved in my life. He was extremely insensitive and even though he said he was okay with me being an ABDL he ALWAYS made fun of me for it and made fun of me for being neurodivergent. I never wanted to subject potential friends to his passive aggressive ridicule, he had not consideration or filter for others.

In my search on fet I met a guy...we were just chating casually since he's a switch and I always thought I was a full on sub but talking to him is changing my mind.....it turns out he's mostly a dom and only sometimes a sub but wears diapers all the time. I almost didn't talk to him because I thought I wouldn't like that but we get along so well!

We have hobbies in common outside of ABDL thankfully so the convos never get dry. I am a very anxious girl but I don't feel that way when I text him. Plus we were texting a few days ago and I started telling him about how I sometimes wish I was the owner of a puppy boy. (I like pet play) Then I remembered this wet dream I had a few months ago about me being padded riding a guy who was also padded and he told me he likes the idea of that very much. After some days of thinking I feel like this guy may have awakened something in me?? I feel like I want to be a mommy...a padded puppy boy owner but I really also want to be a little princess most of the time. I feel like I'm a switch and I have been denying myself this fact for years because part of me worried I would never find a guy who wants to switch and be the baby like 25% of the time.

I felt like anyone I found that would want to sub for me would wanna be sub most of the time and that us together as two subs would never work out because it wouldn't be satisfying for anyone involved. But anyways I like this dude but I don't know how I feel about pursuing anything at the moment. While I feel like I desperately want to explore a relationship or situationship in the ABDL community I also am still feeling pretty burned by my last relationship, so for the time being I think I will just keep doing this goofy flirty fantasy talk I have been doing with my new switch friend.

We have talked about alot...diapers, planning a playdate, diaper cuddles, paci kisses, sharing a crib amazing stuff like that! I think if things naturally develop into something else I will let it but I am not going to push very hard for any kind of anything at the moment.