so. . .i really dont know if i should stop searching untill i feel more comfortable with my self. .
ive been searching since i turned 18 and ive also done self reflection and discovered i was trans my problem is i cant start HRT or get surgery done and even though i can work on my voice here and there its not where i want it and im unable to use it in VC so. . . im basically still M and because of this i feel very VERY uncomfortable meeting irl or doing VC with anyone at this time. . . . ive had 2 relationships in the last 6 years that worked with these paramotors but ive "been with" (if you can call it that) a LOT of people and a lot of them want to do VC or meet up with in less then a year of talking and i just. . . cant at this time? so im wondering if i should just put my search on hold until i can get more freedom with with transitioning. . .

PS: i dont mean to be rash but i dont want the "your valid" talk please. . this is not what this is about. .