Hello, I’m 26yo trans woman(pre everything) who is getting close to giving up on my lover for diapers. I’ve loved diapers for as long as I can remember but now they are just becoming a reminder of my loneliness.

For the last few years I’ve been posting on personals and replying to post and I’ve had some highs and lows, but at the end of the day, I have never had a real experience with anyone irl. I’d try to find people in my area but nothing would work out. I’d try to do the whole online dom thing and that never lasted long. It was even a compromise on my part to talk to men because I know I’m into women way more than I’m into men. It just feels so frustrating that I’ve wasted so much effort trying.

It makes me feel guilty for being unrealistic with what I want but I see other people living the dream I want so bad. Being able to have fun with someone else in your diaper, I can’t even comprehend how amazing that must be for you out there. For those of you who have some one to take care of or to take care of you, take a moment to appreciate something as special as that.

I’m just sad because I want to get to experience a human connection like that but it feels so far out of reach. I feel like I’m at the same point I’ve started and it makes me sad. It’s gotten so bad that now when I try to put on a diaper to escape the harsh reality, it just reminds me of how alone I really am.

Im dealing with a lot outside of this but it’s just so frustrating when my oasis has become an oil pool. I don’t know what to do because I hate to give up on something I truly enjoy but I don’t know if I can take the painful reminder of my lonely state.