It happened a few years ago, but I still think about it sometimes and kick myself in the ass about how I messed up.

At this point in life, I was really into abdl and was padded nearly every day with at least a pull-up. I even went to an interview padded and got the job. At that job, I started seeing one of my coworkers. I stopped wearing when he and I began seeing each other.

He taught me how to smoke weed so we’d often get very high together on our dates.

He always definitely had a CG vibe to him. We did edibles at the art museum. Because it was my first time taking edibles, I was really disoriented in the twisting galleries. So he ended up basically trip sitting me and just guiding me along for the day, leading the way and taking care of me, even making sure to ask if I needed the restroom when we were passing by them.

One time, during a really high cuddle session, we realized that I fit perfectly into his lap if he held me baby-style. To this day I wonder if he was testing the waters when he asked this, or if it was just a cute one-off. He teasingly said “you like being like a little baby?”

Out of a sheer gut reaction of embarrassment and worry that he’d found my secret kink, I bashfully let out a denying “noooooooo!”

I kicked myself internally the second after I said it and every once in a while since then. Him and I never talked about it afterwards or tried signaling abdl again, but I worry that my loud and long denial had scared him from trying again.