So a while back I sent a tiktok about a thread of people talking about creating a character who's just the dm but with cool in front of it. My dm loved the idea, mostly because once he became the dm for some reason we just constantly jokingly taunt each other. I also constantly create new characters make them viable fill out the sheets, and keep them in a folder, so I can just switch characters at any time if I die, because the only time my dice don't seem to roll a 1 is when I am getting out of situations he purposefully puts me in because we just joke around a lot. We'll I have the sneaking suspicion he's trying to kill my character because the character hits like a truck, and also bails on most situations that I know he won't make it out of. This is completely fine I built the character to be funny, and accidentally made him strong cause I didn't look at anything but names of things to add to the character because I expect him to die. Everyone else in the party builds solid characters who contribute and get stuff done, while my character dances between life and death cause he's a glass cannon. Anyways I said I would build this character called cool (insert dms name here) and I got approval to make him a minotaur, cause I said the character has to be cooler than him, and a dumb minotaur is. Unfortunately this is the first time I've ever struggled to make a character, and this minotaur character is supposed to replace my current character, if or when he dies. The only thing I know about my dm is when he's not a dm he's playing some character that is lawfully good, like a paladin. Amd he works in construction. He told me to make a mage version of him, and a non magical class version of him. So he could pick which 1 he allows, because the randomness of the spells I pick, have lead to me getting some really strong 1's cause I don't look anything up.

Also the reason I suspect he's gonna try something, is because he created 1 of the cult leaders as a specific counter to my spells. And last session he used this character that up until this point has eluded the leader cause of his antics. And so that cult member who is immune to my spells, interrogated my character after capturing him, and then shamed the character in front of the whole cult, in an extremely funny way. Then tied me to a stake which my party members freed me from. And the session ended but we all leveled up to level 3 which means level 2 spells. Apparently the 3 magic users me and 2 other people all picked enlarge/ reduce and found out in the group chat right before today session. So when I rolled a nat 20 on my perception check and saw the cult leader before they saw us. So I paid the other 2 characters to cast reduce on me and I casted reduce as well. Which because the dm had agreed that the spell works by making you 8 times smaller that was 24 times smaller, and my character is a 4 foot tall fairy. I rolled a 17 3 on stealth while the party left to do other things. I used bard collage of creation to create a tiny microphone. So she could hear me and spent the entire game aggravating the cult leader and her guard so they were out of the cave and the rest of the party was able to get in and get out without fighting a lvl18 cult leader. I mean they still had to fight some cultists, and a mini boss (I know he wouldn't have killed the other party members, he would've captured them and then gave them opportunity to escape) but I kept flying around the cult leaders head saying things like "OoOohhh I'm a spOokY ghost, I'm ThE GhOst of losers past. I show losers their past. I WOULD show you your past but you're not a loser your pathetic, and no 1 wants to see your past." Or "this is your boomer granny speaking I'm very disappointed in you, I know I taught you wipe from front to back. Why do you keep doing it back to front! You'll never get a boyfriend if you have dingleberries there. Who will keep the cult going, if we don't keep the lineage going!" After he said a hour had passed in game the shrinking spell wore off, I then had a raging level 18 cult leader, and 20 cultist chase me through out the town, and i used my last level 2 spell slot to shrink myself to make me harder to hit until the session ended, and I got captured cause my rolls finally failed me.

So long story short I have a week to figure out 2 level 3 minotaurs 1 magical, 1 non magical. That also has something to do with construction... also I'd like suggestions on funny ways to kill my bard character so I can post them in the group chat and see if he likes 1.

Also disclaimer both dm and I have said if this makes anyone uncomfortable let us know, and everyone said they find our antics funny, and that we do a good job of letting them all have their moment to shine. Also they said they were going to try to save the fairy bard, and idk if that will going to happen, I'm totally okay with either outcome.

Please throw out some ideas, I'm drawing a blank.