Celebrating that I made it past the 2 week mark!!

I’m faced with a decision. My DOC are food, sex, and crystal meth. The first one was food. I started struggling with that when I was 14, but they all stem from the same addictive thinking. I’ve looked on and off a some disordered eating treatment and recently done 2 assessments with different facilities. Both recommended residential treatment programs that were 6-8 weeks in length. They said I have a lot going on, a lot of past trauma, and that my addictive behaviors have been escalating for years. My individual therapist is on board with this. The thought terrifies me, though. As much as I want to heal and correct my disordered thinking, 6-8 weeks is incredibly disruptive. It’s a long time away from my family. It’s incredibly expensive even though it would be covered by insurance. I also fear that this would be too much for my employer. I’m in a leadership position and I fear that all this “drama” would lead them to the conclusion that I’m no longer able to lead or represent them. I hate that because I’ve worked hard to get where I am and love what I do.

I’m feeling overwhelmed with this decision. And that’s definitely firing up the addictive thinking patterns.