I don’t know what to do with myself. It feels kind of like I’m going crazy. I have things I could do. I know things I should do but can’t find the motivation to do them.

My therapist warned me about this earlier in the week and suggested I make a schedule to follow. I tried and it turns out I suck at following a schedule. I guess I really am pretty selfish and stubborn - if I don’t want to do something I’m just not going to do it. 😕. I suppose it’s good to know my starting point there.

I found a tiny crystal in my closet this morning getting dressed. I sniffed it. Not sober behavior but also did not cause a high. Disappointed that I did that. I plan to vacuum my closet in a little bit to make sure I get any more.

Not feeling as hopeful today as I was yesterday. I know part of that is the anhedonia associated with coming off of meth. Even though it was expected and even though I’ve been through it before, it still sucks.