I've been working on and off on another trip report, but then I realized I never told this story and that perhaps this might help me get unstuck. Tell me if you enjoy the format, what to change about it or whatever else may come up.

A word of caution: Insect and mildly licentious themes are featured in places. Be advised.

This took place just after the first lockdowns. I'd kept ontop of the story and pretty much knew what was coming, so like any sane person I decided to wait for the process to percolate up the chain and get exceedingly high once the news was confirmed.

Fast forward The material arrived disguised as a rather charming sample package complete with a pleasant set of letters, one for the enjoyment of the logistics system and one directed at the consumer of the real product.

In keeping with my usual tradition I waited 90 minutes prior to sunrise before (foolishly, don't do this please) dosing 54mg of powder wrapped in parchment in an act I've been made to understand is commonly referred to as "YOLOing it".

T: 0:25 I get an episode of Anton Petrov's show rolling. For a brief moment I think about hopping on chat and telling someone about my impending experiment but think better of it -- Most of my online friends are heavily anti-drug or at best mildly tolerant & fairly ignorant of the subject and my IRL connections are in a rather poor mood and likely not interested in hearing I've already disengaged from the situation. I notice that the skin in-between my fingers is starting to feel unusually sensitive to the touch and spend some time just tugging and pinching it. Intensity.

T: 0:45 Effects are quite pronounced. Rivulets of pearlescent water appear to run down my walls and screen like rain off a windowpane. There's a thrumming in the air that seems to grow stronger with every passing moment, bringing with it a feeling of Presence that seems like it wishes to make itself known to me. I switch my programming away from science YouTube and onto music (I made that Spotify account high and have since lost the credentials sadly). Intensity.

T: 1:00

Ribbons of light seems to stream through every cell of my body, waking them up, caressing them, resolving tension and anxiety and deeply-held guilt into a myriad of multicolored explosions that leave behind nothing but a warm emptiness for my awareness to fill. I realize just how little space all the negativity I've been holding onto allowed for me to fully feel myself.

Speaking of feeling myself, I've started to make make out with myself with no small amount of gusto. Playing with my ears, kissing my fingers, rubbing my own shoulders, hugging myself around the waist as I gyrate about my room in self-absorbed bliss.

T: 1:3x-2:xx

I feel an urging. A drive. A message to move and change my environment. I take my phone and plug in my earbuds. The sensation is unexpectedly acute and overwhelming and not entirely pleasant but after hissing for a few seconds they're safely secured and I half-sashay, half stumble my way into the (thankfully lit) hallway in front of the bedroom.

An indie A Capella couple comes on singing a love song to each other. It's so beautiful I squint my eyes shut doing my best to force up tears to no avail. There's something else I should be doing. Somewhere I should be... suddenly it hits me. Of course. Eyes still closed I gaze up at the skylight, the dancing colors behind my eyes intensifying a hundredfold and renewed energy washing away the last of my tension.

The song ends. I stand there breathing. And then the sudden whiplash of a high-energy trance track forces me to my knees like I'm Moses before the burning bush, face still upturned as my being shatters into raw vibration, every particle of self replaced by a a trillion big bangs going off every attosecond in rhythm to the music. I'm crying for real now. Bawling, even. Shaking and screaming, begging for the moment to continue for all eternity. Intensity:

T: ??:?? - ??:??

I'm finally coming back ever so slowly. I'm curled around my phone. One earbud has fallen out. I'm cold. My knees hurt from kneeling on tile for who knows how long. Despite all that I'm happy. Every ounce of pain and stiffness feels like a hard-won trophy. I can slowly rifle through every signal coming from every part of my body like a book and look at it with equal parts curiousity and pride.

I feel "good". Not only do I feel "good" because I'm in an euphoric mood, I also feel good about every part of me. Where other drugs often impart a certain sense of dualism onto the mind on 2C-B I feel uniquely within my body and uniquely satisfied about being an embodied entity even though I may be so much more. It feels as if my soul has chosen this body to wear for an evening at some cosmic ball and all the universe is applauding my excellent taste in picking out all its fine little details and features.

I rush to the bathroom and strip to the waist, and indeed, I look unbelievable, every pore and hair and muscle and sinew arranged with an ingenious sense of refinement and taste. I lean forward and kiss myself, then give myself a dirty wink and a "call me" gesture & whistle before the Urge drives me back into my bedroom.

T: ??:25

The drug seems to suddenly make its return. I'm laying down on my couch (I didn't really wanted a couch in my bedroom but when you're asked to hold some things and then nobody can go outside you start to appreciate the extra space) just rubbing the fabric as I suddenly get something like a mental tugging. I resist at first, wishing nothing more than to enjoy the simple sensation of cloth against my skin but it becomes more urgent, now accompanied with an "impression" that roughly translates into something like "you called US, so you best be ready for what's coming cause it's happening if you like it or not. Final warning -- I'm counting to 3 and then we start if you like it or not. One--"

I sigh and flip over, to see what I can only describe as a spectral praying mantis with the lower half of a centipede looming over me with what appears to be a surprisingly mundane sense of annoyance, like a cab driver you've given slightly wrong directions to on accident. I'm hardly entomophobic but a twinge of fear runs through me all the same before I remind myself that I'll eventually come back from this and no matter how bad the experience will simply be one of many. At the same time I'm also utterly convinced that everything I'm seeing is completely reflective of a real process. I glance to the side, and spiders and ants are marching acrosss my body. I look at the floor, and it's transformed into a mass of translucent insects of all kinds several feet deep seething just below the edge of my resting place.

"I won't lie to you, SV" the mantis-thing tells me.

"This isn't going to be pleasant".

I half-nod, half-shrug, feeling my stomach sink.

"You need me to get up or anything?"

The mantis-thing sways its no.

"Just like this will be alright. Scream if you have to".

I nod again, then choke as it streams into my chest and deep into every every crevice of my being, spreading inky-blackness wherever it goes. I can see it all now. My fears. My failings. My arrogance hidden under a mask of timidity so convincingly faked I even managed to convince myself of its authenticity.

I can feel how I'm eaten and digested by the insects around me and the corruption inside of me, vision going blank as the pressure of of raw evil I'd been keeping underneath the surface overwhelms whatever feeble-minded attempt at lucidity I might've been mustering up completely.

T: ??:?? - ??:??

Suddenly the darkness spits me out and falls off me, like hardened a fired clay mold carefully broken open to reveal the cast gold within.

The seething mass of insects has subsided and been replaced by a few incandescent bugs fluttering about. Instead, plant-like entities are pushing their way through my walls and entwining themselves with me. It feels like the being taken care of after running a marathon, or perhaps being given aftercare in the wake of a gruelling BDSM session, their cooling impulses washing away any lingering disgust and guilt and replacing it with a set of key lessons.

"A true narcissist loves everyone cause they see themselves in everyone". "You've been taught to make yourself small so you have an excuse to make other people smaller". "Resentment always starts with self-resentment". This goes on for a while, all the cracks in my sense of self being slowly smoothed over and filled with fresh material. I'm taught beauty and triumph and acceptance through word and picture and parable and little by little the entities tell me of themselves and their history within the cosmos, their stories becoming part of my flesh and spirit as they selflessly consume themselves in order to heal me.

T: 5:30 I can finally read clocks again. Everything is breathing and shimmering still, and I nod my thankful goodbyes to the last traces of consciousness still present.

However, I feel another need now. One that is rare for me on most psychedelics on their own but is quite overpowering now that a good deal of the experience seems to be calming down. I sit back down in my chair and peruse the internet's warehouse of salacious and exciting imagery until I settle on a clip that reflects my current needs. The performance and its conclusion are markedly enhanced, bringing back a large degree of the effect for several minutes upon completion. There's no guilt or shame or regret, simply thankfulness towards myself and the people so graciously sharing this aspect of themselves with the world.

T: 6:45

I'm all but baseline. The one thing that remains is a strong enhancement of the sense of touch. I take my phone and go outside and watch the stars while barefooted, happy for the night I've been so generously given.

Overall this experience was one of my best ones on drugs up to that point. Negative side effects mainly presented themselves in the form of a mild tension headache for the next 2 or 3 days, but I must reiterate that dosages on this level are extremely unwise especially for a first timer. I was in a safe environment with tested material but this is not an extensively studied substance and any psychedelic runs the risk of causing mental damage when not done correctly or simply dosed too highly.