(I put “male” in the title 1) to make it clear that this post pertains to couples where the dominant partner is an entrepreneur and 2) because I’m male, but it may also apply to non-traditional traditionalists in this lifestyle.)

Opening up about something that I’ve wanted to post here for a while. Speaking as a man, I hesitated because I didn’t want to deal with insecure men retaliating.

It’s difficult to live this lifestyle as a dominant entrepreneur.

Our society looks up to strong men in positions of leadership, and in my country entrepreneurs are venerated. Many women, including my partner, find successful entrepreneurial men very attractive. Many women—not including my partner—project all kinds of fantasies onto men who own a business or work for themselves. Many men do the same.

The problem is that entrepreneurship looks very different from the inside than it does from the outside. It’s a very unstable profession, especially if you’re ambitious or work in certain industries.

When it’s good, it’s really good and you’re a king. But when it’s bad, or more precisely when you’re trying something new or taking a risk, it often feels like there’s no bottom.

Nothing could be more natural than turning to your partner for support, but there’s so much instability during certain phases of an entrepreneur’s career that you fear exposing her to it. You can’t avoid it if there’s true love and good communication.

The dynamic necessarily becomes more vanilla, even if you’re still paying the bills and providing. She’s still there to serve and look up to you, but how can you be there to guide her effectively when your mind is obsessed with the tightrope you’re walking and whether you’ll fall off? When a man’s mentality changes, his submissive woman shapes to the new reality.

I have the most loving and supportive partner in the world, and this season has brought us closer together in different ways. We’ve seen more of each other’s colors and it’s been beautiful. Yet a gap has opened that will be difficult to fill until I’ve made it through to the other side. She is waiting there for me, but it’s not easy on her, either.

I think this lifestyle is easier for those with a normal, stable job, or maybe it will be simpler once I’ve completed this career pivot. Money isn’t the issue, it’s emotional stability and mental bandwidth.

I’ve considered giving up. Yet as any entrepreneur knows, there’s something in us that keeps us going on this path. She supports me through thick and thin, which yields a mind game: the real struggle is internal. She’s doing just fine, it’s my internal struggle that affects her. If only one could just shake it off!

And of course there’s the loneliness. Being male is often lonely. Being a leader is almost always lonely. Being an entrepreneur is definitely lonely. I’m thankful for the close male friendships that I have and the community that I’ve built, yet I haven’t encountered anyone in real life who’s also an emotionally open, dominant, male entrepreneur in a traditionalist dynamic. Or maybe I have and I have no way of knowing.

I have faith in myself, in my community, and in God that I will find the right path.