I realize I might get some hate for venting this and I apologize if someone finds this too offensive. It has just been weighing on my mind and on my heart.

Are there any single tradwife women out there who find it exceptionally hard to date men these days due to your traditional views and desire to be treated in an old-fashioned way?

I am single and dating and have found it a struggle to meet someone who is decent and has the desire for the same type of traditional dynamic as I do.

My experience is that most “modern day” men I come across are as such:

• They don’t want to pay for the “date” when going out, and if they do, they complain about doing it and how “expensive” women are, etc.
• They always opt for the cheapest possible place to eat or thing to do when going out. Doing affordable and free things is great, but to never be taken somewhere nice or on a proper date at least once in a while is a total turn off for me.
• They don’t want to take care of a woman, whether she is someone they are going out with or in a relationship with.
• They don’t care about hygiene or appearance, will show up in sloppy clothes looking totally unkempt and they don’t care. Is it very old-fashioned to prefer clean cut, showered, and decently dressed?
• They want to quickly know what you do for a living, how many hours you work, etc. I was actually asked on the first “date” with someone I hardly knew how much I have in savings. It’s as though you are being viewed as a potential future asset to help pay their mortgage, rent, vacation plans, etc.
• Even though I work to pay my bills, I’m so tired of being asked what I do for a living 5 minutes after meeting someone. It’s such a boring topic to discuss for me, especially that early on.
• They don’t want to have to drive to come pick you up for a date or to see you.
• They don’t want a woman who wants to spend her time taking care of the home and his needs once in a relationship. They want a woman who is career obsessed and driven to become as wealthy and powerful as possible to help build a life of fortune and great status. Everything has to be strictly equal, from financial to decision making.
• I don’t need to be with someone who has tons of money, more so, I need the structure, guidance, protection, security, and clear roles that a D/s 50s household dynamic provides where we can work through whatever situation we are in with a traditional type of structure. I want someone secure and confident in whatever it is they have and not constantly complaining about their responsibilities or worries of how they are going to “make it” or of having to take care of the woman who wants to take care of his every need, with love.
• They like to claim they are not “sugar daddies” when real men who took care of their wives and households back in the day were not considered sugar daddies, it was just a common way of life. I’m sorry, but buying someone a cheap meal or a discount item they would love from Walmart clearance or making sure the basic household necessities are taken care of in the home you share together is not considered “sugaring” in my opinion. Especially not when I am the type who rarely ever verbally asks for anything.
• They aren’t comfortable taking charge in public. I love to have my order at restaurants given by my partner, but most guys are too afraid of what other people would think of it. I also love to be guided in public.
• They don’t want children or to be married anymore. I'm not looking to rush into marriage, but I don’t want to grow into old age or even die as my partner’s “girlfriend”. And even if we are in our 40s and most likely can’t have any kids, I still don’t want to use birth control, which I know is a personal choice depending on the couple.
• They don’t want to have to make decisions about anything. They don’t want to have to care what their woman is up to, how she should be spending her time, who she is talking to, what decisions need to be made, in general, etc. They want to live life and relationships like roommates, if they even want to ever live together at all.
• They don’t want to be protective and will admit that they would be the first to run or do nothing to avoid conflict if their woman was in harm’s way or being disrespected by someone. There are graceful and peaceful ways to protect your woman and help her exit a situation she shouldn’t have to be in.
• They don’t have old-fashioned manners, don’t want to open a car door or any door.
• They don’t want to be served in the home. My last ex wouldn’t let me cook for him or even bring him a glass of water or touch his laundry. He felt it was all too oppressive even though he knew it would make me feel fulfilled to be in that role.
• And if they do want to be served and have the home taken care of, they want a superwoman who works full time in a career and does all of the homemaking as well. How can she put top quality care into her man’s needs and the home when she is exhausted from juggling a career all day, 5 days a week outside of the home as well? I’m not against working part-time from home, but that would have to be a limit so that I could enjoy doing what I love doing most for my partner and for our home as well.
• They think women who stay at home have it easy when really homemaking can be grueling work on a daily basis.
• They prefer to be the one doing all the cooking now. Honestly, whenever a guy I am getting to know says how he would love to cook for me or bring me coffee in the morning, I cringe. I want to be the one doing those things. If I am sick or we want to cook something together for fun, or he wants to handle the grill, that’s all fine. I just love to be the one providing most of the home-cooked meals, snacks, etc.

And on the flip side, it seems more women these days don’t want to be expected to do the dishes, cook dinner, or bring their partner a drink, whether they work or not. I’ve had men tell me this repeatedly, that they would come home from work and their girlfriend/wife who didn’t work couldn’t be bothered to even have a nice warm meal ready or have the house clean. That she would rather sit and play games or on her phone or sleeping all day, or if she did work, she would be too tired from that to want to do anything at home or for her partner. And it’s those crappy experiences that turn some men away from wanting to have a traditional setup with a woman again because they feel they will be taken advantage of again.

I think people out there in the world can have whatever type of partner or dynamic they wish in their personal lives. But I think it’s so sad that those who still have more traditional views on relationships and household are a totally dying breed. Now it feels like we are the aliens, the radicals, the ones who are abnormal, wrong, and so on for being so different and against the grain of modern society. I think it’s sad that the way we like things has to even be considered a fetish when once it was such a common way of life which provided good structure for children, relationships and households.

And are we expected to find the men who do want us the way we are on regular dating apps? Because I put clearly in my profile the type of dynamics and even kinks that I am into and most men have no clue what I am talking about. They think “old-fashioned” just means you don’t have tats or something. I haven’t had the best experience with people I meet from Fet or similar types of sites. I am very kinky, but I find myself always drawn back to the vanilla apps because I have a vanilla side just as much as a kinky one.

Do any other single tradwife women out there struggle in these ways with dating men nowadays?

Also men, do you struggle to find women who actually want to fit into the traditional role you want her to be in?