I'm visiting Vancouver for the next three days for a wedding, and one thing I'm determined to do while I'm here to really round out my west coast experience is, of course, to give a Vancouverite a blowjob.

I've only got a specific window of time that I can sneak away and get some time to myself, so this needs to happen on Sunday afternoon. I also can't host, so the festivities will have to happen at your place, which will need to be in (or close to) Kits. But if the stars align, then maybe you can invite me over to your apartment, and I can give you the sloppiest most intense blowjob I can muster. No reciprocation needed, I just want to get my mouth thoroughly fucked until my face is throbbing and my ears are ringing and my cheeks are all smeared with tears and mascara, and then be on my merry way.

There are rules below. Please read thoroughly!

Me:

• 22f, 5'3, thin, white, shoulder length light blonde hair. Very dorky. Commonly found wearing sundresses and cardigans. Decent baker.

You:

• At least 35, fit, profoundly hygienic, respectful and experienced with long extended intense facefucking. Race / height / weight aren't important. In or near Kits, and able to host.

Rules:

• Please be over 35 and reasonably fit.
• Please be a chill, friendly dude.
• Please be in Kits, or somewhere quite close by. I don't have a car here, so I'll be on foot or taking the bus.
• Please be able to host, sometime between 11am - 4pm on Sunday (August 6th). Bonus points if you live alone. Bonus bonus points if your place has some plants in it.
• Please don't send dick pics.
• Please don't send crude / vulgar / degrading messages. Polite, well-written messages with at least a couple of sentences describing yourself and what I can expect from our time together will greatly boost your odds.
• Lastly and most importantly, please let me know what album you'd put on to fuck my mouth. I've collected a lot of data about Torontonian men's music tastes, and I'm dying to discover how y'all roll out here on the west coast. I will be basing my selection at least partly on this, so choose wisely. If I pick you, I'd love for you to have the album you picked playing when I show up. This tells me something interesting about you, and also lets me know you read my whole post.