You get a text while at work. It says simply “Run your fingertips lightly over your collarbone, where I started kissing last night.” There are people nearby and you blush thinking about it, but you’ve learned to love the tingle you feel when you hear the phrase “good girl,” so you act like you’re reading while absentmindedly feeling your fingertips on your skin, remembering how I pulled your hair back firmly before placing my lips on your neck.

I know you’re in a meeting, and the next instruction says “put your hands under the table, curl your fingertips under the hem of your skirt and claw at your thighs the way I do. Hold it for 3 seconds.” You try not to show any reaction and take a slow, deep breath to stifle the sigh you want to let out while you feel your fingernails dig into your skin. You respond with a quick “Yes, Sir” and then do as you’re told.

More messages come throughout the day. Suggestive, teasing, and by the end of the day every time you feel a tingle every time you even imagine my hands on your body. You’re anxious to see me, and even frustrated that I insist that we go out for a date before anything else, but also enjoy the challenge of picking an outfit that will drive me as wild as you feel—while still being appropriate for a public place.

Me: I’m an educated, professional, middle-class man in my late 40s. Articulate and impossibly sarcastic. Physically, I’m tall with broad shoulders. Meat on my bones but not obese. Shaved head. Above average looks. Late 40s. Excellent kisser.

You: Articulate, mid-20s to mid-40s (somewhat flexible about that), either experienced with submission or interested in learning from a good teacher.

Good communication is necessary for good kink. Please keep that in mind when messaging. Women who cannot be engaging will lose my interest quickly.