I have come to the very understanding that I will never be happy in the situation that I am in. I honestly don't even know how I will change that situation, because I am too damn nice to leave. I would rather sit here in depression than go and make a change. I don't think it's because I would be lonely or anything like that, but I think it's pity. See, I look at her and think, what would she do? How would she go on without me? I think about everything and how it would be easier if I just passed on. I know suicide is not the answer, but it would be easier than going on like this and unable to escape. I hate my life and what I have become. I could go on blaming her and telling you all is her fault, but in truth, I let this all happen. I'm sorry.