I will admit, I read various subreddits on here and sometimes they get you to thinking. The most recent few were about dead bedrooms and how it comes from porn addiction. I don't know if that fully covers how it starts. If I may, I would like to spill my thoughts on this.

First off, I enjoy porn like any other man. I will openly admit, it started off as curiosity from a young age and got to be my release as I moved into adulthood. I often viewed it because I had many a nights where I would go out with friends and either strike out or have to be the guy who helped get others home. I think technically you could call me a virgin as I had only ever been with two other women in my younger years.

Then I met my wife. I honestly stopped viewing porn when I met her. It was wonderful to have someone to enjoy time with, albeit, most of our courtship was long distance. I enjoyed doing cyber sex with her and even though she kept her lights off for the most part and I never did, it was incredible to perform in person for her. I still remember the first time I had her in the flesh and it was beyond belief. She told me she never squirted before and I was the first person to make that happen. What can I say, I was beyond over the moon. She also told me my dick was big and that it was the best she ever had. I finally thought, here we go, I can enjoy having fun and finally experience all those things I've seen for so many years and never got a chance to. Before any of you say it, yes, I know porn is fake and it doesn't happen like that in real life. Please allow me to continue.

After that night and week, things began to change. I don't quite remember what came first, but I would like to give you a run down in no particular order of how things affected me.

I really do think the first was her boobies. I honestly remember her telling me she hated getting them touched and sucked. She went on to tell me that I shouldn't like boobies, because I'm an butt guy. Yes, she says boobies and not tits. I did try to discuss this with her and I will admit, there were a few times after that that I did try to touch them still, just out of the heat of the moment. Well, that went down like a lead balloon. It led her to telling me I was a child and only children play with boobies. She continued with men don't play with boobies. I eventually gave up.

I remember her not wanting to say anything dirty or make sounds at all. I brought this up, that I would like to hear some enthusiasm. She just told me, and I quote, "I'm not that type of girl." I still remember discussing my points of guys like to hear stuff and be asked for things. She told me that they only do that in porn and I shouldn't expect it from a real woman, to which she would tell me, she's not that type of girl. I again gave up.

I have tried my fair share of positions and it ends with she thinks it's demeaning or it doesn't feel good. There is one that sticks out in particular. After a bit of foreplay, I told her I wanted to try something new. I got her to lay on her side and I straddled her one leg. I entered her and began slow long strokes. After a bit, for the first time, she told me, my God, don't stop. After a long while, she said that was different and she really liked it. Again, it ended. Why? I have no idea other than she told me she doesn't like being used like that. Why in the hell would you tell me it was nice and you liked how deep I was and then tell me it wasn't. Why the flip flop?

There is a whole list of things I thought we could do together, but every time I was met with some excuse or insult as to why we shouldn't do that. I wanted the lights on, but was met with "I'm not that type of girl." I wanted to not have the covers on a few times and was met with "Stop throwing the covers off, I don't like it." The why don't you fuck me, but change your mind and tell me you don't want that. You tell me you want to be railed in different places and when those times come up and I start making moves, you shut me down and tell me that you don't like being fucked or used. Why would you even bring it up.

I really do think the last thing, was I came too fast one time. I didn't expect to, but it happened. For all intents and purposes and figure me for saying this, but I creampied her. Well me getting pleasure from her getting pleasure and knowing she hadn't cum yet, I proceeded to go down and ensure she did. She was writhing, she grabbed my hair and forced me down harder and I felt her cum soon after, no noise, but I could tell. She told me that was wonderful and that she had never had that before. Fast forward a few months and a very similar thing happened, but this time, she told me I was disgusting. I sat there in shock. I tried to discuss it with her and was shut down, telling me it was gross and I shouldn't make it a habit.

All of this slowly caused me to descend back into the pit of watching porn.

To be finished...