Growing up watching sitcoms you would always see the father as some horny doofus and the wife uses sex and affection as a tool. I get a lot of it was for laughs but I have seen this in real life. A lot of "you took me out tonight instead of watching the game with your best friend? you're gonna get it tonight." It never seemed like the wife wanted it herself and that honestly seems terrible.

When I talk to peers my age who have been with their partner for a while like me. I just don't understand. Maybe I am a special case and my sex drive is much higher than the regular person. But I cannot imagine NOT wanting to jump my husband's bones every chance I got. Sure sex drive can vary and there are times when I'm tired or not in the mood and there are times when I want him inside me 5 times in a day. But it would hurt my self esteem so much if sex with my husband was purely dependent on how HE felt and if he were using it as a "treat" for me being good(not in a kinky way) and not because he wanted me to experience pleasure.

When I say that I don't mean someone should sleep with someone if they don't want to. But I just read these posts and hear stuff irl about how someone gets turned down for sex by their partner for months. That shit would fucking ruin my self esteem if the man who loves me always shot me down. Why are you calling someone your lover if you don't want to make love? I'm a fairly horny woman but there are even times when I'm not in that mood but if my husband wants it I'm going to give it to him. Not because I feel forced but because he's the person I love. I know if I were in a horny mood and were getting shot down repeatedly by my partner consistently it would hurt a lot.

And honestly, even if I am not in that mood. Seeing my husband look at me with so much desire WILL put me in that mood. I don't want this to be misconstrued as me saying wives should fuck their husband on command. A "not tonight, babe" is fine. My husband has said that to me before lol. But "not tonight, babe" for weeks in a row is an issue. (Obviously there are people on the asexual spectrum who view sex and desire different. This isn't related to them)

I just can't relate to being with someone for a long time and the desire fading. Why are you with someone if you don't want them? I've been fucking my husband with the same level of horniness I had on the day we met. We have fun. I've sucked his dick in the car countless times. When our kids were little and privacy wasn't guaranteed we made things work to keep it spicy. Even if that meant having someone watch the kids for a couple of hours while we make love in a hotel room or a single friend's house(sometimes involving the friend😳). The desire never dies. He's been grabbing my ass when I walk by since I met him and I've been pulling him close and feeling up his crotch all the same.