I was having a conversation with a close friend of mine recently who was looking to get back into the kink community and I explained to her the difference between a good dom and a bad dom. You can tell the difference by asking them to define control to you. The healthy way to have power over someone is to understand them and their needs better than they do, and to be the one who has the power to give them what they need... Or take it away of they've been bad. It's not about being an agressive caveman, being overbearing or being a controlling jerk. Although some subs need to be controlled and that's ok, as long as it's done in a way that's healthy for all parties. But communication at every level of every interaction is important in learning how to safely map out someones needs and not cause harm when dealing with certain aspects of this. I've trained women who crave deep intense forms of pain and punishment, and women with very delicate bodies and no pain tolerance to speak of. Women with very unstable emotional sensibilities that need to be carefully grounded, and women who need to have their passions ignited through intensity. No two humans are ever the same. Everyone has their own needs, their own effective and impactful training needs, and their own path to joy and happiness. Part of the fun is learning together what that means. And also, as I get older I find myself wanting to find someone to keep. Someone to take, make mine, turn into a happy and well cared for little pet, my best friend and companion, to love and play with and share it all with. Someone I can play video games with who I can pet and tell her she's pretty while I'm feeding her out of pet dishes on the floor that she eats from while naked. Someone that I can chain to different places in the house and pet her as she gets gang banged. Someone I can love and fuck and be best friends with, and also whip her when she's been bad and get really experimental in bed. Someone wants to be a good girl, and also someone who wants to love and be loved, and to belong to someone who loves her. I'm at the point in my life where I want to put a leash on a woman and keep her and make her mine. Let me know if you're interested.