Pretty sure no one will read this.

I have Daddy Issues. Growing up, my dad was present in the home, but emotionally distant. I have siblings but for me, it was the worse. My dad picked on me, when I started gaining around puberty. Never came to any of my events and verbally abused me any chance he got. That being said, I'm currently in an adult and I'm learning that my dad's childhood was fucked up. My siblings are telling me that he wants to make amends somehow. My issue is, I've really disliked this man for so long. I've held only anger and hurt for and from him for so long. And now that I'm older, I have the chance to hurt him. I don't call on his birthday. I rarely ever speak to him. And I know that my lack of presence in his life now hurts him. I shouldn't but I like that I can hurt him now. But now, a part of me wants to make amends. I just...I'm afraid of what'll happen. I've literally not liked this man for the majority of my life and the possibility of no longer having this hurt, this hatred for him scares me. Because that's all I know to have for him. So...yeah. And I'm partially pissed bc it'd be easier to continue not liking him if he didn't show an effort to make amends. I don't want to believe it but he did call me recently just to chat. He's never done that. He messaged me to check up on me, on more than one occasion. So ..yeah. Just a lot to think about.