A spiteful pregnancy test turned into quite a surprise when we found out my(m25) partner(f22) was pregnant - and 7 months along. That's a story for another time.

Anyways, her OBGYN put her on iron and blood pressure medication. And gave her stool softeners because constipation could be a side effect of the medications they gave her.

Well, I felt a little backed up the day before yesterday. I usually struggle in the bathroom, if we're being honest. So I decided what's the harm in taking a pregnancy strength stool softener?

A lot of harm, actually.

So nothing happened that night. Thought they were a fluke and went to bed. I woke up and was fine for a while. Felt ready to tackle the day. Until a fever hit and I started sweating. Started shivering. I felt like I was encroaching on death's doorstep. My stomach rumbled and as a construction worker who was thankful there was a working bathroom on my job site, I had started a vicious cycle of expelling my immune system.

It happened 15 times before I went on lunch. FIFTEEN. TIMES. On the way home I had to stop twice to use a bathroom. Even after I had stopped shitting my brains out, I felt like a soldier coming home from war. I'm pretty sure my asshole is destroyed. I think I'm coming down sick because my entire immune system has left me.

It looks like a week of Pedialyte and crackers for me.

TL;DR I took my wife's pregnancy strength stool softeners, shitted out my entire immune system and now I'm coming down sick.