I am working with a guy that feels he should be ready to have sex with a woman at any time, under any circumstance, and it causes him stress, and shame if he doesn't.

He feels a sort of societal expectation to be horny, able to get hard, and ready to have sex at any moment, with any woman, since he is a man, and that's what men do. He feels the need to have sex with every girl he goes home with, otherwise he would have "failed." If they were getting along, he would feel a sort of shame if he didn’t have sex with her, or if they did have sex and he wasn’t able to get hard.

Unfortunately - I can sort of see where he is coming from. Often times when a man is with a woman and he can't get hard - she will say "what's wrong?" as though he is letting her down. Friends who knew about a date may ask about whether or not any sex happened, and there is pressure to report "oh yea - we had sex - it was great - i totally performed" to seem like a real man.

Any ideas of how to decondition this way of thinking?