I sytarted my meditation practice more than ayear ago and have been rapidly advancing it. I have been exploring through Kundalini, pranayama and meditation in general, learning by dipping into advaitha philosphy, yoga sutras and lately Vigyan Bhairava Tantra. I have always been a person with elevated sexual proclivity, although being a loner, I have kept it to myself and masturbation. I had been struggling to come to terms with my need for masturbation and concepts about brahmacharya and avoiding wasting energy through indulgence in ejaculation. As a result, I began to try and merge meditation with masturbation, and although I could sense both energy rises as well as transcending thought and maintaining focus on oneself in the third eye, the success from it was brief and I would slip back into though and fantasy and porn (reddit). Thus I always sense that there was a possibility of greater integration of the two but I was not getting there. However, as my practices in mediation grew deeper and I began to understand the concepts of consciousness, awareness and mindfulness, things began to crystalise. Certain verses of the Vigyan Bhairava Tantra made things much clearer and a couple of days back after deriving inspiration from regular mediatation and rethinking my study, I began a practice of meditation with masturbation which produced a deep meditative state in me. I was abl to repeat that over the past few days, and I see the possibility of developing and refining this practice.

Basically it involves stimulation of the genitals in siddhasana, while balancing your awareness through meditation on the act and the third eye. The mind has to be near devoid of thought and fantasy, especially lust. The hells are pressed into the perineum and the awareness of the Root Chakra (mooladhara) and Ajna are maintained. Slow deep breathing and focus on the pauses between breath are also kept in ones awareness. The stimulation of the genitals continue at a pace at which one is comfortable and pleasurable. The sensations are merged with Joy/love without getting carried away into fantasy. If the thought drifts, the focus is bright back to the ajna and the mooladhara. In a few minutes I hit a deeply meditative state but I don't stop the stimulation. I've done this for upto 45 minutes. The intention here is not orgasm, so one should stop if you feel you are near the edge...at this point it is most likely that your focus has shifted to thought rather than maintaining concentration. It's still early days but I feel so good after the meditation and the was not even an orgasm. But best of all I feel like I could come back to it anytime I have the time and space for it and recreate it. I know it's not the end but it feels like a powerful discovery and perhaps a 'handy' meditation technique for those who struggle with sexuality and meditation?

I am separated from my wife so I have never tried this or an extension of this with another person but I realise that if I did, this would be very tantric and directly what verses 68-70 of VBT mentions.

Has anyone else been down similar or the same route? I'd love to hear of other people's experiences.