Found out the other day that the friend that she introduced me to while we were dating is now more than a friend. I so politely just asked them to respect my boundaries. Give me a bit of time. It’s impossible to not see the two of them around. It’s a small town. She assured me she’d respect them… a day after she’d already lied to me about fucking him. I don’t understand? We’re no longer together. We haven’t been. Why is she still telling partial truths? She’ll tell me she likes him, but when I ask about other things, she lies. How are some people just sociopathic? The worst part is that I know I’m just someone else she fucked over. She didn’t love me. She doesn’t. She didn’t care. It’s a fucking cycle for her, and I was stupid enough to fall into it.

I shouldn’t feel this bad - she’s actually one of the worst humans I’ve met. But I can’t help but think that she might change after this, and that’s just not fucking fair. She doesn’t get to be a good person because she learned from me, fucked me over, and left me in the dust.

I hate her more than anything, and it gives me a small bit of pleasure to think about her dead. All I want to do is ruin her how she ruined me, but I can’t… because I’m not a shit human being like she is.

I don’t know how long it will take. I have hope. I went on a date tonight. It was a good distraction. They like me. I’m scared to be liked again. I’m scared to trust. I feel like I’m over communicating to people I’m just meeting because I’m so scared of my boundaries being crossed. I’m so sensitive now and so scared of breaking down in publi