I am back to square one and gonna be in and out to share what I learn. I’m going to challenge myself to get back to the stripper I was. You know I ain’t gonna lie to y’all so…

Some notes:

• All of my shifts now require me to be off stage as much as possible. Almost zero pole work involved.

• Physically cannot work doubles, so that’s off the table.

• I have cognitive issues (confusion, loss of concentration, brain fog, etc) so my strategies with dancing have changed.

• yes grief still has me in a chokehold. No I ain’t gonna hide it. I’m a hottie that cries.

Goals:

• increase nightly income average back to $700-1k
• begin tracking income again (yes I stopped lol)
• being more self care into my life (massages, manipedis, etc)
• Pay off medical bills
• Increase focus and bring back the stripper energy I had before without needing to be her
• Add money to my savings binder every single shift

The entire point of this post is to show you that sometimes we fall down. You have to get back up and try again. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m trying again. It can feel embarrassing when these things happen. But we are all trying to do our best in a world of crazy things. So if you think you’re better than those of us who stumble, pipe the fuck down.

For the next 5 shifts, my goal will be to find a way to work with my brain fog. I have been brainstorming and here’s what I’ve come up with :

-> approach 5 customers back to back, no standing still or looking at my phone / breaks etc. (This is to avoid zoning out for long periods of time) do this in bursts to help avoid burning out

-> ONLY offer bundles of dances. No single dances. Only offer bundles to increase chance of hitting goals.

-> keep a notepad or sticky note with my goal on it in lap dances and tally it. Alternatively get a clicker / crotchet row counter and click it every time I do a lap dance to keep track.

I also want to reduce how I compare myself to others. I have a friend I have compared myself to in the past because she’s better off financially mentally. But that is not fair of me to do and I shouldn’t put that expectation on myself. We are different people.

To fix this I will be journaling the night after work about my experiences and what I’d like to do. This will keep me focused on me and no one else

Outside of this here’s some other things I do or will be doing:

• keeping meds in my bag (Tylenol etc)
• Drink an electrolyte mix after every shift to help replenish my body
• No fast food after work, I’ll have my lunches premade in the fridge at home ready to go again
• Every shift I leave with money / hit my goal = a reward. The first three rewards are mandatory to be focused around self care. (Massage, manipedi, etc)

I’ll be honest… I’ve really lost some of that “sexy” aspect to me. I just don’t feel it, so I’m learning to look and appear sexier than ever despite this. So here we are hotties. Square one. Fuck it lets go 🥳💕