Waking up I feel alert, I don’t wonder what I did or didn’t do. I don’t wake up trying to figure out who I might have pissed off, or how I might have embarrassed myself the night before.

Coffee and a meeting is how my day starts. I get to be with a great group of sober friends that we open up to and share. It’s practice for my mind, to prepare me for a day without alcohol.

Off to work, I open the liquor store. I stock what beer and liquor was left unstuck the night before. For the next 5 hours I’m alone surrounded by booze, giving customers my opinion on what I think is the best option.

I head home, living back with mom for the time being. The reason I’m a 30 year old living at moms is because of alcohol. There’s a beer or two in the fridge. There’s a recently discovered bottle of Jameson next to the cooking oils and such in the kitchen.

I go past bars and gas stations full of beer, on a daily basis. I know that I am powerless over alcohol and my life is unmanageable when I drink. I can’t have just one drink and be okay. If I do, I will drink until I can’t anymore. What happens after that I hope I never find out.

I thank god every night as I smoke my last cigarette of the day. I look to the stars and thank him for helping me achieve another day sober.

I’m not afraid of alcohol, but I am terrified if my mind leads me to ever take another drink for the rest of my life. IWNDWYT