Been with SO for 1.5 years. I am 27, SO is 33, potential SS is 3. We are not married and don't live together. In the past two weeks, BM has been evicted and is looking at another temporary housing situation and SO has gotten a very lucrative job. Currently they have no custody order and he watches SS about 80% of the week. He doesn't want to tear SS away from BM, but now he is going to get a custody order and have the child support hearing in about two weeks to get everything settled. Or at least the process started. Ideally he wants full custody, but after talking to many others I don't think this will happen because it seems as though courts love to give moms second chances. (even though there is record of BM choosing voluntary impoverishment... she has turned down jobs in the last year in favor of going to school to get a BA.)

I adore SO and SS but have always been on my own path. I used to travel the United States out of my car, staying in campgrounds, etc. I've gone on many solo trips all while freelance writing and editing to pay my way. I've always known I was to lead an unconventional life, which is one of the reasons I was down for the blended family game. But now I'm reading "The Four-Hour Work Week" by Tim Ferris and it's lighting my soul on fire... Maybe I'm having a my Saturn Return / Quarter Life Crisis but I'm starting to be unhappy with my job and with living in the city and I don't know if there's anything I can do about it because of SO and SS. SO also wants to be financially free (his job makes him a lot of money) and start entrepreneurial projects, create opportunities for passive income, and travel the world. But he's a dad first and a great dad.

So what I'm wondering now is if it's possible to travel in this sort of situation. My goal would be to do a month abroad once a year, or to take two week road trips. But is this possible with a BM??? I am all about including SS in our adventures. SO and I's parents are also down to watch SS whenever. (His mom is SO good about flying out / taking SS whenever... And he has triplet siblings who are in their late teens/early twenties and are also super helpful.) SO loves weekend trips too, and we try to camp, explore, as much as possible on our weekends when it's just us. He gets a bit nervous when bringing SS but I'm helping him ease up here because I prepare well and keep cool in stressful baby situations.

If it is possible, how do you do it? What should be in a custody order? How often do you travel with your SO, and how often do you travel with SO and your SKs?

I know this isn't the top priority in a relationship, but I have crazy wanderlust that I can't tame. If I don't get out of the city at least once every two weeks I start to feel really stressed... and I'm in this city for SO and SK, so I'd like to find some compromise.

(OH also I don't have a car right now so that's contributing to my antsy-ness. And I live in a city where having a car is very,v very helpful.)