Brief overview: SO and BM got pregnant four months into their relationship. They moved in together, everything went south, and they broke up about 3 months after their son was born. She moved out of their house in July 2016 (when their son was a little over a year), SO and I met in September and were long distance until March 2017 when I moved to a new city to be with him / start a new job. (The timing felt perfect.)

BM is a mess. When they were living together, they lived in separate bedrooms and she had no job. He paid for everything, she mooched off of him, rarely took care of their son, etc, etc... Now we have been together a year plus and BM is suing my SO for child support and lying about being their son's primary guardian on paperwork when he watches their son most of the time. Enter: time for a big scary court battle.

To make matters worse, SO lost his job about a month ago due to major layoffs and his dad is in the hospital with mental issues, causing pain for their whole family. SO has had problems expressing pain/discomfort in the past, and now it's all bottling up inside and he sometimes takes it out on me—minorly, but the anger is coming through. He acknowledges he has a lot to work on with his emotional issues, but also says that I need to be more receptive to allowing him to vent about BM. Sometimes when he complains about her, if it drags on, I'm quick to say, "okay, we're talking about her a lot..." Admittedly sometimes I snap; it just makes me feel like it's baggage that he's not dealing with, and I get jealous/frustrated that he has this emotional baggage. But I also get that he's bubbling up and over and needs to talk.

Is one of us wrong, or being unreasonable? I want him to feel comfortable talking to me about his feelings but I also can't deal with this much BM everywhere.