A lady plopped a bottle of Ethos on the counter this morning.

"Is this fake water?"

Thinking she was asking about tap, filtered, etc. I said, "I think it's spring water."

"But is it fake water?"

She didn't have an accent, so it wasn't something lost in translation. Some new age thing perhaps? But I'm not going to argue, I'll do my best to accommodate any customer no matter how ridiculous their health or spiritual needs seem to me. In my most polite tone, I asked,

"What is fake water, ma'am?"

"IIIIIS... THIIIIS... FAAAAKE... WAAAAH... TUUUUUR?"

She gave me a look like I was the biggest dolt in the world.

"It's just water, with a teensy bit of natural minerals. It's not pure distilled water. We can give you a cup of triple filtered tap water if you'd prefer."

"Ew! I guess I'll just take..." (crinkles nose) "...this."

She walked away, Ethos in hand, telling her friend she couldn't BELIEVE I didn't know all the gross additives "they" put in our water. I guess she's looking after her precious bodily fluids.

Between that and a lady who started babbling at the crew about some American government labor conspiracy, I had a rather surreal shift today.