Basically I live in Spain and legitimately it seems like everyone here is well hung. So, ok, yay, I get to enjoy big dicks, boo because it makes my below-average dick seem tiny in comparison. Like average here is probably approaching 7 inches...

Another thing that frustrates me is that my decent (i.e. actually close to average) girth is a double-edged sword: it's good because it is more functional, but my dick literally being girthier than it is long means that it looks even shorter than it actually is. So I think guys see it and think it's tiny when actually it's just small rather than tiny.

And while I certainly don't have as many hang-ups about my size as other guys do - for example I don't really care about people seeing my small dick as long as I am having sex at that moment (so when I go into a sex club I am like super shy and awkward and embarrassed but once I get going it is fine) what does cause me genuine distress is the lack of the possibility of fixing this issue. So while in my case it is mild, it is also permanent.

It is the reality that almost all gay men prefer very large dicks (women tend to as well, but there's more variation and also more of a tendency to be happy with average among women) - even total tops, which annoys me, because I'm just like, sure a big dick looks nice, but you literally will reject an otherwise very compatible guy because he "only" has an average-sized dick? It's not even going inside you so wtf! And I'm not referring to them rejecting me personally (as they could be using it as a cover for actually thinking my face is ugly) rather I am referring to the guys that explicitly state on their profile that they only meet up with other well-hung guys.

So even as a bottom I can't escape it. Honestly I actually slightly prefer topping, but in practice I bottom far more often because, while I prefer topping, I do not like topping without satisfying the bottom (and obviously bottoms don't tend to like not being satisfied either). And while I know that technique factors into it, I also know that when I bottom I prefer a big one...sometimes you get average-sized guys who make an effort to fuck really well, but you also get well-hung guys who don't have to make any effort, the size does all the work for them. And then obviously you get the well-hung guys who also make an effort, and they just blow everyone else out of the water. The flipside of this is that I find that if the bottom has large glutes, I struggle to get any decent sort of thrust going. I'm either hardly moving at all or constantly slipping out.

So having a small dick just makes me feel so inadequate. And while it's not a severe, unbearable feeling of inadequacy, it is certainly a hopeless one. I even notice that overall, well-hung guys seem much more confident (and according to a study I read, well-hung gay men are, on average, more narcissistic - while that is not a good thing, it is probably more enjoyable than just having no self-esteem at all).

I'm not blaming all my confidence issues on my penis size - I have plenty of sources of those - but at the same time, it is one of those sources. And I guess this is my biggest frustration with my penis size: it's not about it making it more difficult to find sexual partners etc., but about the effect on my overall confidence, and that XL guys seem to just get a bit of extra confidence for free. One of my friends once complained to me that he hardly gets any messages on grindr unless he sets his nickname to "hung top"...well, I hardly get any messages, and I can't even put "hung top" to get them. So while he feels like he is valued only for his penis, I feel like I am simply not valued, not even for my penis. (ok I don't base my self-worth on grindr messages and I am not even currently sexually active for other reasons, but I'm speaking in relative terms here)

Like genuinely I would so be ok with just being a pole sometimes tbh. I really enjoy giving pleasure, and while I have had the occasional top I have managed to please in such a gratifying way, it seems, to me at least, to be more common for a (hung) top to achieve giving this sort of pleasure to a bottom, and as I said, I would actually prefer to top more often but end up kind of unable to properly fill that role for most guys :(

So I guess the feeling of inability to give pleasure, particularly in the way that I want to give it, adds to the feeling of powerlessness that is already presented to us by the lack of realistic methods to increase our size.

Sorry this has just kind of been a rant but I would be interested to hear other guys' experiences and opinions (similar or contrasting)