I need to tell something what I can't tell anyone I know. I know sissy for years but I never really felt comfortable with it and at first it was just a curiosity, I even tried some stuff out alone. But over the time the interest at sissy grew and I got strong desires after all this. But I still don't feel comfortable with it and even dislike a lot of things. I try to ignore it, I tried to accept it but nothing really works. Now I have a phase again where the desires after being a sissy are extremly strong. I need to watch sissy content, I can't stop thinking about being feminine, I wished to be locked permanently etc. I can't focus on importent things because of it and my mood is just at the bottom for the moment. I am frustrated with myself, I am a straight guy, with a chubby/muscular body, do strength training and more. But my sissy sides just says "fuck all this, become a sissy, let someone own you, you need dicks, you don't want to be muscular be weak and feminine....". It starts to be a burden and I don't know what I should do because I can't ignore it and accepting it would go to far.