If you'd like to play along (don't cheat and look up who these teams are), here are the anonymized teams:

TEAM 1

2-2 against teams that finished the season with a winning record

-2 Turnover Margin last year

Return two of their conference’s top four sack leaders

Had the country’s best run defense (based on opponent yards/attempt)

TEAM 2

Led their conference in passing touchdowns

122nd in the nation in penalty yards/game

Lost three games by a combined 13 points

New DC and new OC

TEAM 3

Went undefeated at home

Have no 100 yard receivers returning from 2020

Led the country in red zone TD defense

Did not have a pass play go over 40 yards

TEAM 4

Second-worst team in FG%

Led their conference in red zone TD percentage

Averaged 39.3 pts/game on the road

Outrushed 341-47 in one game

TEAM 5

Had the nation’s best rushing attack (yds/run)

Only allowed 1 sack

Did not win their conference

Only made one field goal

TEAM 6

-9 turnover margin

Led their conference in yards/pass attempt

Lost two conference games by a combined 7 points

Went 16/52 on 3rd down in their last five games

TEAM 7
Quarterback had the highest 2020 QB rating of anyone returning in ‘21

Only forced three turnovers

Led conference in tackles for loss per game

Allowed two opponents to gain over 7 yards/play

TEAM 8

Held under 50 yards rushing in two games

Lost top passer, top two rushers, and top three receivers

Every win except one was by at least two scores

Best third down defense in their conference

TEAM 9

Had a 6 game win streak

Second-worst in the nation in penalty yards/game

One of 11 teams that did not give up a 60 yard play all year

Averaged two turnovers/game

TEAM 10

Top 15 in third down offense and defense

Led their conference in time of possession/game

Held under 5 yards/play in their last two games

Missed a field goal in their last six games

TEAM 11

Led the nation in kicks blocked per game

Undefeated in true road games

Second-worst yards per carry in their conference

Did not recover an opponent’s fumble all year

TEAM 12

Failed to break 200 passing yards in six games

Fifth in the nation in 3rd down conversions

Allowed less than 2.5 yards per punt return

Welcoming a transfer QB who threw five more picks than TDs last year

TEAM 13

Won 9 games last year

Return the country’s leading rusher (in total yards)

Road defense was almost a yard per play worse than home defense

115th in kickoff touchback percentage

TEAM 14

New head coach in 2021

Had a 7 game win streak

Top five defense (yards/play)

115th in 4th down conversion percentage

TEAM 15

Did not get a 4th down stop all year

Ended the year winning four straight

Led their conference in 30 yard passing plays

Lost the conference’s most productive receiver (by total yards)

TEAM 16

Top 5 passing attack in the nation (yards/attempt)

Allowed five opponents to gain at least 500 yards of offense

Had two games with 6 turnovers lost

Led their conference in punting average