We have great sex. I have to start with this. I mean, amazing sex. The best I've ever had. Not only that, with him I've become comfortable trying things that used to be HARD nos, and even was able to work through a specific sex act that I previously couldn't due to being sexually abused as a child. And I actually really really enjoy those things. It started off as only experimenting with it because I wanted to please him, but now I'm experiencing this new kind of pleasure that I never thought possible. Always considered myself relatively vanilla, but well ... Guess not.

Anyways. Despite all that, there's some recurring issues. Sometimes it takes me hours to cum even with a vibrator, and sometimes he loses his erections/can't orgasm. I believe it's a mental block, because I stupidly ask him what's wrong when I feel him start to soften. Meanwhile, I start getting anxious if I'm toying myself and it starts taking too long. I worry he's getting bored. He's said when I ask him about his penis he interprets it as something's wrong with him. For me, I'm only asking to make sure I'm doing things right/he's not in pain or bored. This just turns into a cycle, we both get frustrated, and then the act is over. And it really sucks. I would say these sort of events happen maybe 50% of the time. we both have pretty high libidos, although mine fluctuates on a monthly basis i believe it's hormonal. He edges a lot in his free time, like hours. It used to not bother me because I absolutely love making content for him. But now I wonder if that's contributing to the issue. But I'm not sure, cause sometimes he gets off quickly (which quickly for him is 25-30mins. When time permits, we often go for 2 hours sometimes more).

A big problem for me is I have a semen fetish alongside my insecurities, so when he doesn't orgasm I'm not only insecure, im unsatisfied.

It's just a bummer. Everything else is great, I mean I would say our intimacy is highly healthy and compatible. It's just these little things that put a sting to it. I want to figure out how to fix this. Granted, we've only been together for 6 months. So perhaps this is something we'll simply grow out of? I just don't know