i am almost one month clean. but i had a really bad cut had to get 6 stitches and cut 2 inches deep in my arm. wasn’t trying to kill myself was just trying to cut deep. but i’m clean from cutting and don’t think i can go back to doing it ever i just cringe after what happened. but now my substance abuse has just gotten out of hand. i spend all my money on drugs and don’t care. lie to my family, lie to my girlfriend. do things behind there back to get high. i do care but at the same time i do not because i get to be high. i am just so depressed. i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i’m on medications and shit but idk. i am just very depressed. i feel so rotten inside.