Never been to this sub before, but since Im on reddit, I had a feeling a place like this exist. Im semi glad this place is what it is. Multiple posts that were made hours ago, some as simple as lonely, some are a bit more complex like feeling left out, and I saw one suicidal post. To that person, I pray you find help.

All these post with few votes and even fewer messages. It's what I need. A placs that's public so I can publically vent, yet no one really cares to listen. It's perfect :P

Well let's begin. It's almost midnight for me and Im feeling sad and lonely again. It happens now and then. Sometimes it's just that night and others it'll follow me for a few days. The thoughts. The facts. Im almost 30 and never really had a girlfriend. Im religious and I believe no sex before marriage. Cause of that, I have thoughts that's Im ugly, worthless, unworthy of being loved. Im fat and have bad poster. I talk and sound weird. Im confused too. Confused cause I dont know if I fucked up my life by not being a little shit. I didn't party, no underage drinking, focused on school, and I wonder if doing all that made me miserable. I mean other people who did all that "normal" kid stuff seem so much happier than me. Then there's the other thoughts. Am I just being fucking stupid? Am I just blaming others for my fuck up? Cause it would fit since I do see myself as a fuck up. Is everything my fault and Im too immature to see that? Two sides of the same coin and they constantly fight each other in my mind.

Even now as I tear up, I wonder if I need help or if I need to help myself. Is this a cry for help or am I too lazy to help myself? I dont know anymore.

Like many people in this sub, I think of ending it. I have a gun about 5 feet away from me and I sometimes think of just ending it... Then I realize that is the stupidest thought ever. I mean, end my life other a short term of sad? That's like cutting my arm off cause I feel an itch.

So what's the point? Nothing. Like the title says, Im just another person venting. I expect no one to see this besides the title and a quick glance of the preview. I expect no messages or upvotes. Im just another guy who hopes some miracle will come to me. I hope in a few years I'll look back at this post and laugh at how stupid it was cause I love my current life and love my new family. I've had that same hope a few years in a row now...

If you've read this far. Why? Focus on your own sadness. And I hope yours will vanish.