Hi all. I’m (30F) in desperate need of advice even though I’ve been seeking it for a few weeks now. Long story short, dated a guy (31M) I had amazing chemistry with; he was the one to make it exclusive, asked me to meet his family, and also gave me keys to his apartment. I legit think we were/are soulmates and I know the relationship was short lived, but I felt it, and I know he felt it. Those months we spent together were all beautiful, not one single fight and we communicated fairly well. However, a little over a month ago, my insecurities, fears and idiocracy (due to a verrrry long term relationship that was toxic and emotionally abusive) hit me hard and I impulsively texted him breaking up with him (text said “so maybe we should just end it here now.”) I’m not gonna go into detail on that, but plain and simple it was because of the fact that I felt guilty for not showing up this one time when I said I would- I know, very irresponsible and immature.

Anyway, right after I texted him that I shot straight this place to apologize and take it all back; he didn’t respond to this very well and pretty much told me to leave- he was angry. I messaged him telling him I should’ve told him this weeks ago and that I was in love with him… kept asking for forgiveness and saying I was extremely sorry. Radio silence - which I deserve. I get that I hurt him and disrespected the whole relationship with my childish actions. But, the thing is that was our one and only fight, and sure maybe to him it’s a “red flag”, but is there any chance at all that he will allow us to have a conversation at least if not to reconcile but to just hash it out so there’s no unfinished business left?

Men of Reddit, please don’t be too harsh on me, but will you advise on what he might be thinking right now? Or is it more than likely he has moved on? If so, how is that even possible when this guy gave me all of his time and energy and drove the relationship? I know I know I fucked it up, but I mean is this really something we can just talk over and move forward from?

I will say that this has really taught me a lesson and if he were to come back and allow for us to have a future together then I know indefinitely I will never make this same damn mistake again because he is all I want in my life.

Reddit, should I reach out to him, send him an apology letter, call him?