After being abruptly dumped last year before Christmas, I decided to take a break from dating/hooking up with anyone. The woman who dumped me did so out of the blue and without reason. I haven’t talked to her since we split last year, and never intend to. I’ve moved past it and it doesn't concern me. After the split, I vowed to not date again until my 3 kids, aged between 11-15, were out of their teens or ready for me to again. I realized that the relationship had been especially hard for my youngest son, as my ex-gf had a 3 year old son of her own. Although mine is 11, he was always my baby, and I believe he felt pushed out by the 3 year old. Our relationship strained after that, and to this day, I’m still trying to mend things with him, even though he won’t admit it. Now however after an entire year of being single, I’m beginning to feel something for a co-worker of mine. I’ve tried to rationalize this and talk myself out of it, but I really like this girl and I’m at a loss for what to do. I want to pursue something with her, but not at the sake of my kids. I feel that as a single father, any time I spend with someone else should/could be time spent with them. I miss them horribly when I’m not with them, but as they get older, I can feel the teenage tendencies kicking in and them not wanting to spend as much time with me as they did when they were younger. They’ve asked why I don’t have a girlfriend, but don’t seem to understand that they’re my number one concern. Does every single parent size up their potential mates with reference to their kids? Because that’s exactly what I do, and I feel it causes me to keep women at a distance if I can’t picture them with my kids. My ex-wife’s bf is horrible with my kids, which makes me wonder if why she keeps him around, and if that has influenced my decisions. I want to love someone again. I miss the connection and intimacy. There’s actually two other guys I know that are trying to get into bed with this girl, but that’s not even what I want. I could have random sex if I wanted to. I had lots of it after my divorce. But I want something more than that now. I want connection, and feelings, and shared experiences. I don’t have a lot, but I have so much love to give, and it’s tearing me up inside that my dedication to my kids and my longing to be with someone, specifically this girl, is battling it out. These other guys would sleep with whoever dropped their pants for them, but I’ve actually turned someone down because I wanted to see where I could go with this girl. Does any other single fathers/parents feel this way? What did you end up doing to reconcile your feelings?

Tl:dr Should I continue to be single for the sake of my children?