Hi all. For context I am solo polyamorous. I met this person at the end of September 2023 and we really hit it off. We aren’t in a committed relationship, but we do want to work toward that at some point. They disclosed to me that they struggle really bad with mental health especially during the winter time and that they are also on the autism spectrum.

When we first met, we were spending every weekend or every other weekend together. Cuddling, watching movies, talking and just spending intimate quality time together. They finally told me that they were falling into a deeper depression and that they would like to cease hanging out for a while. It’s been about 2 months since I’ve seen them in person. It was hard for me to digest the transition, but I respect their space and I want them to know that I respect their space so I dealt with it and still deal with it. I really really care about them and their well being a lot.

Since we couldn’t see each other on the frequency that we were before, I resorted to texting and checking in on them on a frequent basis (everyday type of thing). The conversation flowed for a while consistently, but then it faltered and they explained to me that it is because of the demands of their work and personal health, which I once again respect and understand. So we went from texting every day or every other day to every few weeks to months because I don’t want to overwhelm them. They already told me that they struggle pretty bad during this season and the last thing I want to do is add to the stress and demands. Almost every time that we message, they feel the need to re-explain that they are tired from work and things like that and I just try to assure them like hey—no pressure—I’m just here to check in and I miss you you know? But they insist on feeling bad and I don’t want to make them feel bad.

My biggest concern is I don’t want to overwhelm them or overstep their boundaries. I message them every few weeks or so with light conversation even though I miss them really bad (“hope you been well… miss you and thinking of you” or a meme). How can I support them better? Am i on the right track? I have been doing some research on how to support individuals with autism and I just want to make sure I’m not overdoing anything. It’s been 2 weeks since we last spoke so I decided to reach out and I want to send them some of their favorite things to their home (I texted them and asked them if that was ok).

Thoughts?

TLDR: How can I support my partner that struggles with mental and physical health without overwhelming them but still showing them that I am still here for them in any way they need me to?