My (27F) boyfriend (29M) broke my heart recently. He did not cheat on me but about four weeks ago he was asking me something (I can’t remember what it was at this point) that made me feel like he was projecting his guilt on to me and I felt like I had to snoop in his phone. What I saw really hurt me but I know it’s something I can move on from with some time.

After I went through his phone, we had really big talks for a few days that were helpful but I sadly felt like I had to look through it again for no reason. This is when I found out he changed his phone password. I talked to him about it and he was a bit upset I tried going through it again but he explained to me that he just wants a little shred of privacy. I can understand this because we live together, are together everyday, and share each others locations. While I say I understand this, I also have a little voice in my head telling me he’s hiding a whole lot more now.

Anytime I’ve questioned something that my brain told me seemed fishy or needed reassurance, he has been really amazing going above and beyond to show me that he means it when he doesn’t want to hurt me like that again. I just can’t help myself from obsessing over him following a new account on instagram and trying to figure out who it is or trying to get a look at who he’s texting when he is on his phone.

I know I have to just let go and trust him if I want to be with him, but sometimes it’s hard to let go and I get stuck in negative thoughts and I’m tired of feeling like this.

I would love some advice if anyone has on rebuilding trust, maybe there’s some communication exercises we can do. Also if you have advice in general, that would be welcome.

Thank you