I (29F) dated GF (29F) and BF (36M) for 4 months. GF and BF have been dating for 2.5 years and I asked them both out last October. A few months into dating them, my lease and GF's lease both ended around the same time but neither of us could afford a place by ourselves, so even though it was quite early in the relationship, we decided to move into a house together. We knew the risks but it was the best option for both of us. We were both very excited about it.

GF has an ex that left her with some trauma around affection, he made her feel bad for being too affectionate, which has caused her to shut down on a lot of those urges and she now finds too much affection uncomfortable. I'm overly affectionate, physical touch is one of my main love languages. This difference in affection was something we were both aware of and had talked about at length to establish boundaries. We agreed that if she needed space all she had to do was tell me and I'd leave her alone. I'm autistic and don't read social cues well, so I trusted that she would tell me when she needed space. I also have GAD, MDD, cPTSD, and ADHD, which I'm medicated for and go to therapy weekly for.

About a month before we moved in together I started a new SSRI and I thought it was working but didn't realize that it was slowly causing issues, like giving me panic attacks and ramping up my depression. We moved in together on Feb 1st and everything was going well. Then, a couple of days before Valentine's day, BF was feeling sick at work and decided to go over to our house so that we could take care of him. We had him take a COVID test and he was positive. The one time I had it was horrible and I don't want to get it again or pass it to anyone else, but I had already been exposed so felt I had to quarantine with them. I wore a mask but continued to hang with them and take care of them (she ended up getting it too). At the time, there were 5 people in our polycule and we had been planning on having a big poly dinner at a nice restaurant for Valentine's day but because of being sick, we had to quarantine at home. The combination of missing the rest of my polycule, having to quarantine with them but not really be able to kiss them, and my meds throwing my neurochemicals off, I ended up getting really depressed and needy. I was very cuddly and wanted to spend a lot of time with them. I didn't notice that they apparently didn't want that also and they didn't tell me they needed space.

The day after Valentine's, GF walked into my room and broke up with me out of the blue. She cited our differences in affection as the main reason she wanted to stop dating. I was blindsided and devastated, we had only been living together for 2 weeks and I wasn't expecting it to go south so fast, there was nothing to indicate that there were any major issues. We talked it out though and agreed to focus on being housemates and friends. I took my meds after we talked and ended up having a massive panic attack that lasted 2 hours where I was sobbing and hyperventilating alone in my room. At first I tried to control my volume so I didn't disturb them, but I lost control to the panic attack. Her room is across the hall from mine so I know they heard me. Neither of them tried to console me or say anything to me. In fact, they left to go get food (and they did bring me back some). Mind you, BF was still dating me at this point. I was feeling suicidal. The next day, they were feeling a bit better and wanted to go to his house so he could check on his two teenage kids. I tried to tell them that I wasn't doing good mentally and they told me it was gonna be okay and they loved me. And then they left me alone for 5 days. No texts. No calls. I got really suicidal. I came really close to doing it. Finally realized that my meds might be part of the issue and quit them, and I was right, they were making things extra bad. When I finally talked to them again, BF broke up with me too because his daughter also deals with suicidal ideation and he didn't have the space in his life for two people like that. So yeah poly is all fun and games until you get dumped twice in a week.

The last 3 months since we broke up, we've worked really hard to be good housemates and make this living situation work. It's been rough but we have it mostly figured out. My meds have leveled out and I've been in therapy consistently, trying my best to get my head on straight and process this break up. Let me tell you, it's really hard to get over two exes when you live with one and the other is over all the time. She has no problem showing him affection, they are quite affectionate together. They kiss so loudly I've been able to hear it across the house before. They aren't exactly quiet during sex either. Hearing them together hurts because I miss it, I miss sharing that space with them. It also hurts to see them being affectionate like that when that was the reason I got dumped. I can handle seeing each by themselves but together is painful. I've noticed that every time he comes around I get anxious and on edge. I've started wearing headphones around the house to avoid hearing them together but I keep getting jump scared by them because I don't hear them. This isn't a way to live.

I've realized recently that I think what would help me get over the last of my processing would be to not have to be around them together for a bit. So I spoke with GF last week and told her how I was feeling and asked for help with finding a solution. She agreed that she would ask BF to come over less (he's here most days), give me a heads up when he was coming over, try to be mindful when I was around, and go to his place more. He's been over 4 of the last 7 days, she has given me a heads up each time, but they haven't been mindful, they still kiss loud AF and I heard them having sex last night even after turning up the volume on my TV. I want to be mindful of the fact that this is her home too and I don't want them to feel uncomfortable here, but I don't want to be uncomfortable in my own home either. And this is more than uncomfortable, it's been quite painful. What I really want is to talk with her (or possibly both of them) again and bluntly ask for him to not come around at all for 2 weeks at least (maybe more) to give me space. It would be a temporary thing to allow me to heal. I'm not sure it's the best solution, but it is a solution that I think would do me some good. How else do I get space from them? Is there another solution that I'm not seeing? Any advice here?

Moving out isn't an option btw. I try to go over to my other partners' places as much as I can but they're busy and it can be hard to schedule time away from home like that. I do take long walks or go to the gym most days to get out of the house for a bit. GF and BF have a much easier time escaping since he has a place that he needs to go to anyway because his kids are there. She and I are both cam girls that work from home so we both have to be home for a good portion of the week to work. Thoughts?

TLDR - I live with my ex GF and I want my ex-BF/her BF to not come around for 2 weeks minimum to give me space from them together to heal after our break up. Not sure it's the best solution but I do think it would help. How do I get space from them?Is there another solution? Any advice? Please help!