I am so so tired and sick of people who have nothing to do with anything in my life, aren’t aware of my trauma, or know how bad my history has been, tell me that the only thing stopping me from “inner peace” and success is because I’m too negative.

I don’t think I’m too negative. I’m a little cynical, and I was raised by narcissistic parents, I am trans, and I fled my country to seek asylum. I’m not in the wrong for taking into account that most of the country wants me to unexist, and that the system is primarily set against anything I wish to do.

I know that if I don’t hide myself I am at risk of being hate crimed upon. I know that the federal government of the United States of America doesn’t particularly care about me. I know that certain things will not work out in my favor. Sure, I complain about it but purely for conversation. I don’t make my issues anyone else’s burden.

I am naturally a dark humored sarcastic person but I don’t believe in god or spiritual stuff. I don’t care if you do either, just don’t force it down my throat.

The problem is me being negative, cynical, helps me plan by assuming the worst and have backup plans. But I keep being told that having backup plans means I’m not ever going to give my all for plan A and that I should trust and have more faith in humanity and always think positive.

I’m tired of people glamorizing “manifesting” and I just don’t do that. I’m not the kind of person that writes down affirmations. I take into consideration reality, what I can do about it and what I can’t. If I can’t do something I think of something else to do.

It takes its toll tho being told you’re negative all the time and…..is it me? Am I a realist? Am I a self destructive pessimist?

Just let me be myself.