Background: NM had me bc aborting me was more detrimental to her reputation than being a teen mom whose baby daddy went to prison. NGrandparents and NUncles raised me mostly. NM married now ex step dad at age 4, had kids with him, divorced finalized at 12, first suicide attempt at 13 and she abandoned me to my grandparents house with LC for 3 years. She recently moved back in with NG and I after her ex died (benefactor) and we still don't talk. My NG and her have rooms upstairs and I live downstairs. I don't talk to them. They don't talk to me.

A lot of the time, I feel like I don't relate to people on this sub. My NM basically was the one to initiate NC/LC and I just continued it into adulthood. My half siblings are exact replicas of my NM and so we don't talk. I don't talk to anyone in the family anymore because they're all either Narcs or enablers and I just don't have time for the bullshit.

Sometimes I wonder if it means I'm a bad person because I don't care that I'm not close with my family because I never have been. The only person I was extremely close to was murdered when I was 16.

My family used to wonder how my NGrandma and grandpa could have such fuck ups of kids while being successful, hardworking, stable immigrants and then I found out when NG showed her true colors.

I guess this is more of just a rant saying that I wish I saw more of people who have gotten to a point where they don't care that it is the way it is. I want to hear from the people whose families don't try to persuade them to coke back and just convince everyone else that they're the bad guy. I wish I saw more of people who never had a family dynamic to begin with, so it's easier to live without.

I just feel really alone in it all and wonder if maybe I am the bad person after all.