I've reached a point in my life where I just can't stand to spend any amount of time with her, I feel like i'm walking on egg shells waiting for her to give criticism or something that's annoyed her.

What i'm looking for is some feedback on whether i'm being over the top in my feelings, or is it just crappy behaviour from a parent.

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During childhood she'd make hurtful remarks about excess weight, or would be furious if I decided to make different life choices that she didn't agree with.

Fast forward to more recent times, we often stay with my parents during holidays such as Christmas and bring my young children who she adores.

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This trip started off with refusing to fill the grandchildren's drink bottle with anything but water.Their mom gives them diet cordial but she thinks it's poison and tells them flatly she refuses to do it and someone else will have to do it for them.

A few days in and I had a nap at lunch and my wife accidently fell asleep next to me.When I awoke she was visibly anrgy and saying she wanted a nap too and she doesn't mind looking after the children but should be asked.

Next up, my wife had a pile of our clothes set aside we were going to wash and my mother threw them in with her wash.Nice thing to do, but there was a nappy still in one of the pants that my wife hadn't removed from the pile (Late night changing, just a wet one)

She brought out the remains to show my wife and said she now had to rewash everything and there was Gel throughout the washing machine.

Later that afternoon she said, oh did someone put a nappy in the bin something really stinks like that., putting nappies in the inside bin is disgusting.I checked the bin, there was no smell, but there was a nappy tied up in the nappy disposable bags at the top of the bin.So she'd seen it and made a song and dance about there being one in there.

It's really hot outside this season with high UV, but she wont keep or put sunscreen on the grandkids because she believes it's poison and will give them cancer.

One of the mornings my child woke up and her face was a little red and blotchy. I dismissed it as she was probably hot during the night and had also been sleeping on that side. But as it didn't go away and I couldn't work it out I asked my mother in law what she thought. She immediately said "did you put sunscreen on her, it'll be a reaction"
We then worked out that she spilt her drink on her pillow that had a red cover and it had stained her face.

While i was staying there this time with them, she made a deal about wanting my wife and I to cook dinner one of the evenings.I really don't mind, and we help out with dishes, but just the way it's communicated it feels strange to ask us to stay and then ask this.Especially as a child when staying with my grandparents on both sides, they'd never ask or expect that, so i have no reference for this being an expectation.

There's other behaviours, but it's just snide remarks and I need some feedback on whether i'm being over sensitive or entitled, but I really feel unwelcome staying with them more than ever during the holidays.

As an additional - We're polar opposites. She's an anti-vaxer, 5G/Bill Gates conspiracy believer and a right wing conservative, whereas I believe in science and left-center politically.

Edit: I just remembered, today she remarked "When you and your brother were younger I thought you started smoking just to piss me off"