Every time I call her out for doing things that hurt my mental health, she just gets defensive and says things like, “I do so much for you and am tired of you treating me like shit!” First of all, I’m not treating you like shit by telling you that you’re abusing me? It’s a reaction to YOUR abuse. And yes, we’re a middle class family and she does buy me things for holidays which I’m always very grateful for and I don’t ask for much. But she has never cared about my feelings or opinions and has always punished me for showing any kind of negative emotions. Buying me things doesn’t make up for that AT ALL. She genuinely doesn’t believe she is abusive but I literally have had nightmares about her and my dad for years. That and the fact that spending time with her gives me anxiety attacks when I otherwise rarely have them should be a huge sign that she’s done something wrong.