If you're looking for a pale fat guy with below average sized cock look no further.

When it's soft it's hardly there. On the rare chance I can get past my anxiety and get it up I doubt I'd last 5 minutes. It's been years since I've had sex so both my stamina and ability will be atrocious. Also I'll want you to ride me exclusively and do all the work while I think of my naked grandmother to try and squeeze out an extra few seconds.

What's that you say? The cakes nice but where's the icing?

Ladies, I'll keep dragging my heels on a meet up and send you message after message on here for weeks on end getting to know you and asking mundane things until you're bored to tears and give up experiencing the disappointment mentioned above in all its pitiful squalor.

So why treat yourself to one of the many quality guys here and a good time when you can experience all the disappointment you could ever need with a guy you expect it from.

Looking forward to drowning in DMs and chat requests ;)